Surviving Yesterday
by fullhousegrl22
Summary: Jinny is just a normal girl, but only with one problem..she's in love with her best friend. Can her music bring them back together, or will he just finally give up. Can Jayden see past the phony lies, or can they both realize that they are in love again?
1. The Way I Loved You

**Surviving Yesterday**

**Chapter 1**

**The Way I Loved You **_**by: Taylor Swift**_

_He is sensible, and so incredible_

_And all my single friends are jealous_

_He says everything I need to hear, and it's like_

_I couldn't ask for anything better_

_He opens up my door, and I get into his car_

_And he says you look beautiful tonight_

_And I feel perfectly fine_

_But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain  
And it's 2am and I'm cursing your name  
You're so in love that you act insane  
And that's the way I loved you  
Breakin' down and coming undone  
It's a roller coaster kinda rush  
And I never knew I could feel that much  
And that's the way I loved you_

_He respects my space  
And never makes me wait  
And he calls exactly when he says he will  
He's close to my mother  
Talks business with my father  
He's charming and endearing  
And I'm comfortable_

_But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain  
And it's 2am and I'm cursing your name  
You're so in love that you act insane  
And that's the way I loved you  
Breakin' down and coming undone  
It's a roller coaster kinda rush  
And I never knew I could feel that much  
And that's the way I loved you_

_He can't see the smile I'm faking  
And my heart's not breaking  
Cause I'm not feeling anything at all  
And you were wild and crazy  
Just so frustrating intoxicating  
Complicated, got away by some mistake and now_

_I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain  
It's 2am and I'm cursing your name  
I'm so in love that I acted insane  
And that's the way I loved you  
Breaking down and coming undone  
It's a roller coaster kinda rush  
And I never knew I could feel that much  
And that's the way I loved you oh, oh_

_And that's the way I loved you oh, oh  
Never knew I could feel that much  
And that's the way I loved you_

And that's the way I feel every time after a date. He was always Mr. Right, and I was always Miss. Pushover. For every date that I have been on, there were two smiles, one extraordinary kiss, and of course, one heart felt goodbye.

You never really know when you have found the right guy, but when it hits you in that one spot, you couldn't ask for anything better. The way he looks at you, the way he smiles, and the way you blush that overtop red makes you feel like you are in heaven.

Usually when you go on that first date, you realize that you might not be ready. You realize that things aren't always going to go like in the movies, but you do realize that this is what you have waited your whole life for. You know that you want a boyfriend, and you know that you need someone to always be there for you.

I mean sure, you have those two greatest best friends you could ask for, that one to lovable brother, and the two most supportive parents, but you feel like you're missing something. You know that this won't always go the way you planned, but you can't help but to think that the one right boy will finish off the job for you.

You know that boys are what every girl thinks about from the time she turns eighteen, and they are the last thought before that girl goes to sleep, but what happens in the middle? You have your break-ups, your hook-ups, and your let downs. For that one girl to experience one of these three things in her date means something is either really wrong, or amazingly right.

The girl always has a list of what she needs in a boy, but the one for the out of the ordinary teen goes something like this,

Perfect hair

Perfect smile

Perfect personality

Perfect family

Perfect body

Perfect grades

Perfect friends

Perfect lips

Perfect job

And last but not least, the most amazing , heartbreaking, eyes.

I mean sure, you might find a guy with maybe three of those traits, but in reality, no guy is worth making a fuss over. With every guy that you date, you get to experience the jerk side of him. You may think he has the most amazing personality ever, but in reality, that guy will wind up breaking your heart, taking the piece of dignity from you, or he might just be using you.

No guy wants to hear you complain about your life, and certainly if you think your fat. Guys are simple creatures, and they only need the smallest amount of complaining out of you. The more you complain, he will realize that you are not what he thought you were at all. He will think that you are a spoiled brat, an ignorant wretch, or just the worst…a stuck up blonde.

I mean, I have no offense against blondes, but the more the complain, the more the horns will stick out. They will complain about food, their family, or their friends, and no one needs that. For the quarterback of the football team to date the head cheerleader just is screaming popularity. That is just screaming that they need, or want more friends, or that they wanted to prove that they are better than everyone.

The simple things in life can make that one day all the more worth while. Instead of complaining, why can't people just try writing their thoughts down, and the throwing them away. It always worked for me. I mean, who wants to sit and listen, when you can just throw away all of those complaints and save people the trouble of listening to you, because in reality, no one really cares about your complaints.

"Jinny!" my best friend Jayden called out to me in the crowded lunch room.

"Jayden!" I screamed back even though we were only a few feet away.

He came up to me and hugged me tightly, "How's my bestest, most amazing, superior, loud, obnoxious, beautiful, and the most talented friend today?"

I laughed, "I guess I'm doing okay. How's my bestest, rudest, loudest, annoying, tallest, smartest friend doing these days. I barely see you anymore," I said with a frown.

He laughed a little, "You know we have to hectic schedules. My parents forced me to do basically every club, extra-curricular activity, and ever spare class I can to get into a good college. And with you," he paused to laugh a little, "You're little Ms. Perfect."

I laughed, "Yea. In what world are you talking about?"

All Jayden did was smile and walk away into his fifth period class: World Literature.

I sighed and say down at the table I was sitting at before. A little while after, my best friend, Amelia, showed up.

"Hey, Jinny," she said with a huge grin on her face.

"Hey, Amelia," I said with no expression. "What is wrong with you?"

She laughed, "Nothing, silly. But you will never guessed what I just heard!"

I laughed a little, "I'm not even going to ask what you heard, because I know that you will tell me anyways," I said looking up to her.

Amelia had the perfect body, the perfect curves, the perfect crystal blue eyes, and the perfect jet black hair. She is loved by every guy in this class, and yet she chooses to save herself for the right guy. She claims that no one is even close to what she thinks is the perfect man, but also, she always said that we would get a boyfriend on the same day. Of course I told her that no guy even thinks of me in that way, but she apparently doesn't think the same way.

"Well, this might just be a rumor, but," she said while squealing.

"Just spit it out, Amelia!" I finally shouted while everyone looked over to us.

She say down and laughed a little, "How good of friends are you and Jayden? And I mean really, no just 'were doing good,' or 'just really good friends,' you have to be completely honest, Jinny. If you want to hear what I have to say, then you have to tell me."

I sighed and looked back down, "I honestly don't know, Amelia. And frankly, I really don't want to hear what you have to say. It'll either be about me, or some random stuff that I won't get until someone explains. I guess Jayden and I are just really good friends," I said while frowning a little.

Amelia laughed, "You so know that you so want him. Everyone can see it. The way it just pops out in this sea foam green eyes, the way you walk when you are around him. Everyone see's that it is so obvious. Jinny, if you like him, just tell him already!"

I sighed and looked up, "I don't like him that way! There is no way that we could work out. There is no possible way that he could like a girl like me. Really, Amelia, all I do is sing and play guitar. And what does he do? He does every possible thing there is to do!"

She laughed, "First stage, Jinny: denial. You so want him, and he so wants you. Why do you think he is always around you when we go out. If it's the movies, he always offers to buy your ticket or popcorn. Or if we just watch a movie at him, he always sits right by you. And sometimes when you fall asleep and you are not on the couch anymore, Jayden always carries you up to your bed and makes sure your not sick before you leave, and what about-"

She just kept rambling, "Enough, Amelia! He just does that to be a good friend. I bet he would do the same thing for you too. There is no law saying that you can't be really good friends with a guy. Find it, show me, then I will believe you."

She just sighed, "You will never get the concept of guys, will you, Jinny? You have to accept the fact that you truly are beautiful, and that you are so self-conscious of yourself. You need to be the Jinny we all knew once; the one who wasn't afraid to be around anyone, and just have a really good time in life. You were never worried about what the other kids said, you just liked to have fun. Where did my best friend go?" she said with a frown.

I frowned a little bit, "I honestly don't know. I guess I just got sick of her."

The truth about Jayden is, that we tried being a couple during sophomore year, but it just didn't work out well enough. We knew that the other person liked the other one, but we just couldn't come to think of what the other kids would say.

There was a time when we went on this date to the park, and we sat by my favorite tree. He made us this unbelievable picnic, and the just relaxing by the tree. Before I fell asleep, I remember I carved our initials into the tree. When we both fell asleep, we awoke in the same position, and we didn't get up for at least a few hours.

That date that he took me on was the day that he told me that he loved me. It was right before I fell asleep. I told him that I was tired, and he told me we could just stay there all night if I wanted to. Right before I fell asleep, he quietly whispered 'I love you,' into my ear, and those three words are what made me realize that I could actually love someone without lying.

"Jinny, you just have to love yourself. I've talked to Jayden multiple times, and he always said the same things, 'I love that girl,' and I knew he didn't mean in a friend way, but in a relationship way. The way that he looks at you when you two are alone-"

I had to intercede for a moment, "Wait, how do you how he looks at me when we are alone?"

Amelia blushed for a moment, "I just happened to be there. But that is besides the point! Jinny, he is in love with you! Do you know what that boy would do to have a date with you? I bet you anything that he would give up anything he loved just to be with you. One day or another you will realize that you are in love with him too."

I laughed, "Yea. That will be the day," I said as the fifth period bell rang.

t

After fifth period, it was time for my favorite class of the day: music. Jayden also shared this class, and he also played the guitar.

As I got to the room, Jayden put his hands over my eyes and said, "Guess who?"

I laughed for a minute, "Hm. I don't know. Evan maybe?"

Jayden got tense for a minute, "What is Evan to you?"

I laughed and pulled him to the corner to talk with him. "Jayden, you know we both said that we could see other people-"

"No. You said that we could see other people, I was the one o say 'why?' I know that even you can remember that much, Jinny."

I sighed, "It just wasn't working, Jayden. I know that you loved me, and I just couldn't say it back then. We were both young, and we had, and have, our futures to look forward to. We both have our dream colleges, and they are so far away. We wouldn't last anyways."

He looked sad for a minute, "Jinny," he said while tucking loose strands of hair behind my ear. "We were sophomores, now we are seniors. We have both matured, and we have both became better friends. I know that you know that you didn't want it to end when it did, and I know that I really want you back. Being 'good friends' isn't working out for me," he said with a smile.

I sighed, "Jayden-"

Our music teacher, Mr. West interrupted us, "Mr. Parker, Ms. Alistair, would you mind joining us this period?"

"We will finish this later," I said right before I took my seat.

"So you all know that we have the annual music contest coming up, and a while ago I told you to be ready today to play the piece that you would consider entering. So to start things off, Ms. Alistair, would you please go first for us."

I stood up with my Ibanez guitar, "I couldn't think of anything better," I responded.

I took my seat in the front of the classroom on the high stool. "This is a son that I wrote a few years ago."

As I started the into, tears started to fill my eyes. Even thought I kept them under control for the song, I just couldn't help but think that Jayden was right. I actually needed him.

_But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain  
And it's 2am and I'm cursing your name  
You're so in love that you act insane  
And that's the way I loved you  
Breakin' down and coming undone  
It's a roller coaster kinda rush  
And I never knew I could feel that much  
And that's the way I loved you  
_

After this last verse, I knew that I had to get him back before any one else did. I do miss fighting with him, I do miss screaming his name, and I miss the way that he always held me close to protect me from any danger.

And this song is the way that I love Jayden Parker.


	2. Breathe

**Chapter 2**

**Breathe **_**by: Taylor Swift**_

"Hey, Jinny! Wait up!" Jayden called back from music class.

I smiled and turned around, "Yes, Jayden?" I said trying to be the most polite.

He laughed, "Sorry, kid, that act doesn't really work for you. I was thinking maybe we could go get coffee or something after school. I really need to talk to you," he said with a smile

I had to think for a minute about this. I mean, he could ask me out again, or he could tell me the worst news I could think of; he has a girlfriend.

Knowing that I still needed to talk to him, "Sure. I'll meet you by your locker after final period."

He smiled, "No, I'll be the gentleman. I will meet _you _by _your_ locker after final period. Oh, and Jinny?" he said while I started to walk away, "Thanks," he said with a smile.

I smiled back, "No problem, Jayden. No problem at all."

On my way to seventh period biology, I met up with Amelia. "Hey, Amelia!" I said with to much excitement in my voice.

She stopped and laughed, "Geeze, what are you so happy about?"

I laughed and started to walk with her to biology, "Oh nothing that important," I said trying to hide a smile.

She laughed, "Yea. Jinny, c'mon. We all know that you can't keep a secret for that long. Really, what are you so happy about."

"Well, first I have a date with Jayden after school, then-"

I was rudely cut off by her screaming, "Oh my God! Jinny finally has a date with Jayden! How could this day get better!?" she screamed to the whole entire school population.

I tried calming her down, but knowing her, she would only get worse, "Amelia! Shh! And it can get better," I said with a smile while she squealed, "Jayden said that he wanted to talk about something important with me!"

Amelia looked like she could burst at any moment, "Double oh my God! Jinny! Do you know what this means?!"

We both shouted the answer at the same time, "JAYDEN PARKER IS IN LOVE WITH JINNY ALISTAIR!" we both shouted as loud as we could so no one that important heard.

"Triple oh my God, Jinny. This is like huge!" she said with the biggest smile.

I smiled back, "We can only wait to see."

Right after eighth period, Jayden was right by my locker. "Jesus, what time does your class get out?"

He smiled and laughed, "May I remind you that it is right down the hallway? And it was study hall, no one really does anything," he said with a laugh.

As I put my books away, all Jayden did was smile at me. I knew that it had to be that he wanted to ask me out again.

"Okay, you ready?" I asked him.

He laughed, "Why are you so happy today?

I smiled, "No big reason."

He laughed again, "Yea. Sure, Jinny. Well, let us go then," he added with a smile.

As we got to the local coffee house, all he was doing was smiling. When I tried to start a conversation in the car, he would just smile. If I brought up old memories, he would laugh, and then he would smile. Jayden was in a more-then-himself mood today.

As I sat down, he went to go order our drinks. For him, a coffee, black with three sugars. For me, decaf, two creams, four sugars. I never knew why I had to have so much going on in the coffee, but it just made it taste better.

"Your coffee, madam," he tried saying with a French accent.

"Thank you kind sir," I said with a smile. "So, Jayden, what's up? I mean, you look so excited for something," I said with a smile.

He laughed, "Remember that time in fifth grade when we were paired up for that science project?" he said with a smile.

I laughed, "The one with the planets?" I asked while he nodded. I smiled, "And then we broke all of our planets, and then we both got paired up with different people," I said with a frown.

He laughed, "You got paired up with Evan, and I got paired up with," he started to smile at this point "Crystal."

As soon as he said her name, my smile immediately turned into a frown. "Yea. I unfortunately remember."

He laughed, "Think of it this way, we both got better grades working with the other person. If we stayed together as partners, we might have had to repeat fifth grade," he said with a laugh.

I frowned, "Where is this going Jayden? I know you didn't want to come to the coffee house just to talk about old memories."

He frowned, "Crystal was the point that I was getting at, Jinny."

I looked confused for a minute, "What do you mean, Jayden? What does Crystal have anything to do with this?"

He took my hand for a moment, "You told us that we could see other people, right?" I helplessly nodded, "Well, today in music, I asked Crystal out."

I laughed, "And she said no, right?" I said with a plead.

He frowned, "No. She said yes, Jinny. I have a girlfriend."

"How could you?" I said in a sad whisper

He looked sad, too, "You told me to go see other people, and I did."

I got up and started to cry. "Wait, Jinny!" he shouted as I left. It was over twenty blocks to get to my house, but I honestly didn't care. I didn't care that it was raining, I didn't care that I would never get Jayden, and I most certainly didn't care that Crystal would have to deal with him for that long. All I cared about was that I got my heartbroken by Jayden; my supposedly best friend.

I heard car tired screech around the corner, "C'mon, Jinny! It's pouring out there."

As I was still crying, I shouted back at him, "I don't care, Jayden! I never cared. I will never care. And I most certainly never care about you and Crystal. God, how low can you get!" I screamed at him.

He looked shocked for a minute, "Low? Are you really saying that I'm low?" He laughed for a minute, "After what you have done to me, you have the nerve to say that I'm low. Wow, Jinny. I really thought that you were better than this," he said in disbelief.

Whispering now, "Just leave, Jayden. Please just leave me alone," I said while he started to drive away.

As I walked home, I just kept thinking of Jayden dating Crystal. It threw me off the most because whenever we would talk about her, he only said bad things. There was never any mention of 'oh. I think I like her,' or 'she's pretty hot, you know?' There was only, 'God. How slutty can she get?'

As I walked through my front doors, my mom, dad, and brother were all sitting in the living room playing scrabble. Only my family of a freshman in college, a lawyer, and a real state agent would be playing scrabble all together.

"Oh, honey!" my mom said getting up to look at me. "What happened to you?" she asked worried.

I started to cry again, "Jayden has a girlfriend!" I screamed while my brother, Austin, came to hug me.

He kept quietly whispering in my ear, "Shh, Jinny. He doesn't deserve you anyways. He was only made for a friend. Hun, you can do so much better," he said only squeezing me tighter.

"But I thought that he loved me," I said looking up at him.

My parents laughed, "When a guy gets a girlfriend after breaking up with his best friend, that usually means that he is trying to make you jealous. You know, that is how your mother and I got back together. I dated her first, and she was also my best friend, and then I broke up with her. Then I dated a girl named Christine, and then I dumped her because I was really only in love with your mother," he said as he quickly kissed her.

I frowned, "But Jayden really loves her. He never loved me," I said starting to cry again.

Austin quickly came back to hug me, "Jinny, you can do so much better. Jayden is just a best friend, and I bet you anything that he will ask you out again. Be like mom and dad, just do the smart thing. I mean, mom dated like three guys before she went back to dad."

I smiled at that, "They seem so perfect for each other though."

Austin laughed, "I know. And they sure made one hell of a child. And one slightly more awesome child, me," he added with a smile.

I laughed, "I love you, Austin."

He hugged me tighter, "Love you too, Jinny. Now, please go take a shower."

I laughed, "Whatever you say, boss."

As I went to sleep that night, I just couldn't help but think of Jayden and Crystal. I mean, if they are happy, then I guess I could be too.

As I started to think more, a song idea just came to me. I knew exactly what chords to play, and I knew exactly what I wanted to say.

_I see your face in my mind as I drive away_

_Cause none of us thought it was gonna end that wy_

_But people are people and sometimes we change our minds_

_But is is killin me to see you go after all this time_

_Mhmmm mhmmmm_

_Music starts playing like the end of a sad movie_

_It is the kind of ending you don't really wanna see_

_Cause it's tragedy and it'll only bring you down_

_Now I don't know what to be without you around_

_And we know it's never simple never easy_

_Never a clean break, no one here to save me_

_You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand_

_And I can't breathe without you but I have to_

_Breathe, without you, but I have to_

_Never wanted this, never wanted to see you hurt_

_Every little bump in the road I've tried to swerve_

_But people are people and sometimes it doesn't work out_

_Nothing we say is going to save us from the fall out_

_And we know it's never simple never easy_

_Never a clean break, no one here to save me_

_You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand_

_And I can't breakthe without you, but I have to_

_Breather, without you, but I have to_

_It's 2am_

_Feeling like I just lost a friend_

_Hope you know it's not easy, easy for me_

_It's 2am_

_Feeling like I just lost a friend_

_Hope you know this aint east, easy for me_

_And we know it's never simple never east_

_Never a clean break, no one here to save me_

_Oh I can't breathe without you, but I have to_

_Breathe, without you but I have to_

_Oh I can't breahe without you, but I have to_

_Breathe, without you, but I have to_

_I'm sorry…I'm sorry….I'm sorry._

As I went to school the next day, I just knew that Amelia would be waiting to hear the news of my latest hook-up.

"JINNY!!!!!" I heard Amelia call from running down the hall

I looked at her and started to tear up. I knew that if I started to cry, that she would automatically figure out what happened, but I decided to keep my cool with her. "What, Amelia?"

She looked at me kinda confused for a moment, but then went back to her normal annoying self. "Oh my God, how did it go yesterday!? You didn't answer any of my calls," she said in a frown.

"Jayden asked-" but before I could finish, she started to scream.

"Double oh my God! My bestest friend finally has a boyfriend! Oh my God! Oh my God!" she kept screaming over and over.

"No, I don't," I quietly whispered.

She looked at me confused for a moment, "Wait. What?"

I started to tear up again, "I don't have a boyfriend."

She started to look sad, "But you said he asked you out. I'm confused."

I started to cry at this point. "He didn't ask me out. In music yesterday, he asked out Crystal."

She looked sad, mad, confused, and sorry all at the same time, "Triple oh my God. Wait. What? Did he even know what you feel for him?"

I sat down against a wall for a minute. "The truth is that Jayden and I went out in sophmore year for a few months," I said in a sigh.

She sat down next to me, "What? How come you never told me?" she said in a sad tone.

"I was embarassed to be dating one of my best friends. I knew that we wouldn't last, but I thought that I could give him a chance. We broke up like three months into the relationship. I realized that we should just be friends, but I guess I was wrong," I said as I cried heavier.

Amelia put her arm around my shoulders and hugged me. "It's okay, Jinny. You don't deserve him. For someone to do that to you is just wrong. I mean, sure you and Jayden are best friends, but for him to go off with her is just wrong. He doesn't even like her. Trust me, I would know. Him and me are pretty good friends, and that boy loves you. I bet you anything he is just trying to make you jealous," she said with a smile.

I laughed a little, "That's what my dad said."

She smiled, "And your dad is right, Jinny."

After I started to feel a little bit better, I stood up and then the one person I really didn't want to see showed up.

"Hey, Amelia," she said with a smile. "Hey, Jinny," she said with disgust.

"What do you want, Crystal?" I said to match her tone.

She laughed, "So I guess Jayden told you about us, huh. Well, just to let you know, you better not talk to him. I wouldn't suggest touching him either. He doesn't like you anymore, Jinny. Just suck up that fact."

I laughed, "And who told you that you can tell me what to do?"

She laughed, "I did. I'm better than you on so many levels."

I was about to start something, but then I saw Jaden come around the corner. "Yea? Well we'll see about that," I said with a sour face.

She laughed for a minute, "What is your problem anyways, Jinny?"

I started to tear up again, "I'm in love with Jayden Parker!" I shouted to the entire school population, including Jayden.

After I said that, Jayden immediately came over. "What did you say, Jinny?" he asked in disbelief.

I looked up to him while I cried, "I'm in love with you." I said right before I started to walk away.

He put his hand on my shoulder and spun me around. As soon as he looked in my eyes, he bent down to kiss me with passion. Right after I started to kiss back, he pulled away and smiled.

"I'm in love with you too, Jinny. More than you could ever realize," he said while both of us smiled and went to hug each other.


End file.
